Cos I have Him next to me

I'm longing those times

craving for those 'should's and 'shouldn't's

wanting those ex-unwanted lists

getting away from the approaching so-called 'trends'

Keeping the word 'understand' closer

Alas,

deep there,

I know I was right

Cos you lost what I won.

Doubtless.

"Time will heal, honey"

Insya Allah

[picture:an accessory]

Industri seni & Islam

Since the poster says everything, I shall elaborate nothing :D

Nur,
PJ.

Returning to Him

To God we belong, to Him we return. Al fatihah for Allayarham bro Dr. Mas Afzal Masarudin, a cancer fighter, a da'ie and a role model who passed away this early morning. The news was shocking. He was a full spirit, humble guy who did dakwah solely to seek Allah's blessings back in the UK when I first knew about his story. I happened to know him when he became one of FUiYO (Fun With ILuvIslam's Youth Oversea) 2009's speakers. Almost everyone was amazed with his spirits.

My father also wrote about him on Harakah newspaper months ago which you can read from here - http://www.facebook.com/note. He too was the 'Not the Primrose Path's blog owner http://masafzal.blogspot.com. A deep condolence from me and my family for his family. He was indeed a fighter, a strong one. May Allah lets him stand with those who stand for Allah.

One says "Good friends write song after you die. Better friends offer prayers on your death. Best friends pray for you until their death." Al-Fatihah.

My teacher had repeatedly said that the questions asked in the grave are already leaked but the truth is, not the mouth that'll answer (by memorising) but your deeds that you have collected during your lifetime will do it. We knew that, and yet, ignore it. There's always between wrong and right, bad deeds and good deeds, the Nar (Hell) and Jannah (Heaven).

You choose. I choose too.

p/s: I finished my mid term exam!!!

Will be back, cya

I really miss posting a blogpost and ideas are lingering around my mind and fingers. So many things to write, elaborate and be discussed with such little time...oh Malaysia, you're so cool.

Mid term exam in a few days, do make a dua for me!

Jazakallah khairan kathira in advance

xx

From Wales to Perak

Departed at 12.35pm

26/10/2010
Swansea train station,
Swansea UK One of the last pictures together before catching train - surrounded by lots of bags! I miss my lil friends so much...they sometimes are more fun to be with than 'big' friends. From left; Johan, Amel and Elia.

Everyone carries bags even Little Amel. Believe it or not, 4 of us couldn't manage to carry those...hmm just imagine if you're moving out of country, how many bags you must take with you?

Elia and aunty cried, Johan running towards train and Amel looking blankly leaving tears in me. Ahh...this place left too many wonderful memories in us!

Plane taking off at 6 o'clock in the morning.
27/10/2010
Heathrow airport, London.
Britain.

Note 1: Don't take flight in early morning anymore, you got to wake up very early to check in. This is not including arranging bags, a long queue and settling unpredictable additional payments. Mann...so sleepy zzzz~~

Note 2: Don't leave your stuff in the aeroplane!!! Especially the one you loved.

Gulf Air arrived at 9.46am
9/11/2010
KLIA,
Kl Malaysia.

The awkward feeling raised was when coming out of the plane and seeing around the airport that most people are Malaysians and speak Malay - you feel like you belong to it!

The funny thing was when we were about to land, the stewards and stewardess gave out a little card for visa matter to everyone to fill it in and give to border force later...just like what we did when crossing UK border everytime we travel outside UK. I was like "Oh yeah we got to fill that in", but turned out that the stewardess didn't hand us one. Wondering why...

Obviously, its my country! I've got Malaysia citizenship! Don't need visa! Ayoyo..

Bursting out deep missing.

At last..we are together :)

Its been a week and 3 days since then...and yet I'm still going through an adaptation process. And it was my first eid in my hometown after the forth eid in abroad! Somehow I can't believe I am back for good...feel like its only holiday. Someone wake me up! Ahha!

Hoping for the best to come inshallah.

Love is always around~

Bye-bye UK, Hey Malaysia!

(Sunday 24/10. Swansea)

Bismillah.

Very late sleep, a messy house and mind imbalance accompanying myself these past 4,5 days. Tomorrow the CPU will be packed, the monitor will find its way to skip and the modem will be put into sleep. These future events left me posting a blog post. A post that is very special.

Oh. Yes, I'm going back to Malaysia for good. How soon? Very soon.

Surprisingly, the date I'll be taking my flight is the same as the date I landed on this land making my period of stay in the UK exactly 4 years. At that time, I just turned 14 from 13 and now I'm 18! *glup*

'Experience makes you strong'

I can't deny the fact that I get 'butterflies in the stomach' thinking about going back for good. I'm scared thinking the crime rates, price inflation, social of young people, new place of study...ahh, everything! But then I came across an advise that reads "You'll be fine. Experience makes you strong"...Subhanallah that means so much. Its from Ms Spiller. Then I stacked it on my mind "I am strong!"

Living abroad, hundred thousands miles far from your country, strange environment, keeping an Islamic upbringing are a whole lot experience. There are times I feel like I learn things more than when I was in Malaysia which perfectly matches a Malay saying 'Jauh perjalanan, luas pemandangan' (Longer journey gives broader views). I remember someone said how Imam Bukhari (R.A) traveled a great deal in order to expand his knowledge as well as sharing his knowledge with others. Travelling indeed is an opener to eyes, mind and heart.

(continued on Wednesday 27/10. London)

School

Presents to my teachers. I just realized that all my subject teachers are male! LOL

The place that keeps 1001 memories of me either happiness or sadness. It was a very strange place when I first came in (with an additional hatred) but it changed dramatically - I just love the teachers, collegaues, friends and Bishop Gore community. I started in Year 9 then Year 10, Year 11, Year 12 and senior, Year 13! I chose to do A-levels in school as well as college but school remains the best.

Spending a quatre of a day in school, it is clearly a big influence to oneself. You don’t only learn in a classroom, you learn a whole lot things outside classrooms through socializing and working. Some of my Malaysia friends wish that they’d be in my place without bearing in mind the challenge they’d face. I was, in fact, in that place before I came.

A farewell day out for Mette who went back to Denmark

It was challenging to practise Islam in a western school – trying to fit prayer times in school timetable, finding way to take ablution (wudu’), saying No when boy friends want a high-5 (skin contact), keeping the barrier, avoiding from being influenced by swearing people, matching school uniforms with aurah (coverings) etc etc et cetera. But alhamdulillah luckily, I happened to have such good best friends, friends that are well-mannered though some of them are not of the same faith. Furthermore, I can’t thank God enough for putting me in a school where the admin is concerned about the 5-times prayers. We had a prayer room fitted with carpet and a toilet to take ablution (wudu')..how awesome is that? The period of time to pray is obviously not compulsory on school timetable as in evening-school-session in Malaysia – thus, it depends on the students whether they want to perform the prayer or not.

Despite the challenge, I regard that as a course of learning and building confidence and strength. Learning to adapt, to socialize and to be grateful. I met many wonderful people throughout my years of whom are my close friends – Carol, Emma, Claire, Rachel, Jasmin, Celina, Mette, Lianne and others…too long to be listed!

(continued on Thursday 28/10. Rome)

Community

Malaysian community (Wales)

I am not sure whether there are no many opportunities for young people to get involved in the community during my times in Malaysia or age factor that made me less involved with my community. Wider opportunities let myself to socialize with bigger range of people with various social strata and background – from park caretakers, halaqah sisters, Red cross, Swansea Uni students/society, asylum seekers and refugees, Socialists, Islamic NGO’s volunteers to Malaysian community and a lot more.

Mumbles with my girlies

Swansea is not quite a big city leaving the spirit of unity high. I once read on a magazine about the ranking of the most friendly UK city and Swansea was ranked 2^nd after York and 1^st in Wales! Ain’t easy to get that. It says that you still can see many people saying Hello and smile to each other eventhough they have no idea who they are when bumping in the park, along the road side, cycling and so on. This is true. Sometimes they even stop and talk to you about random things like weather, travelling and future/past events. This is certainly what I'll miss about Swansea...its beautiful people and content.

(continued on Friday 29/10. Mu'tah, Jordan)

Jemaah

There are quite many different jemaah's in the UK and being part of a jemaah is such an experience. You'd be able to expand your contacts, to help meet the jemaah's goal as well as to do it for the sake of Allah as the main reason. There are times when you think its not gonna make much difference but then when you think again, you've been chosen by Allah to be there and only few people got the chance. So why not making the most of it? I met a number of jemaah people ranging from undergraduates, postgraduates and professionals which let me socialize with them and take what is good, leave what is the otherwise.

Joining it taught me a lot as the programs held never missed to supply food for thoughts and hearts. Will miss the usrah and everyone in it!

---------------------------------------------------------------

I was a wayfarer in the UK but I remain a wayfarer in this world, the borrow one from God. I hope I'll survive the jetlag. Survive more flights. And Malaysia 'nice' weather too. Do make a dua'/pray for me and my family, for our trip. May Allah eases it for us!

p.s. This post is written in different places due to limited time and access to finish it. Peace!

Nur,
The land of Syam.
22 Zulkaedah 1431

SAR: sr Al-Munir

Post yang sudah tertunggak berbulan-bulan lamanya. Teringat kembali bila baca isi Bajet Malaysia 2011: Bantuan perkapita 95 juta untuk Sekolah Agama Rakyat (SAR). Alhamdulillah all praises to Allah!

Sungguh, bukan senang mahu urus sekolah bila tiba2 bantuan ditarik pada 2002. Sekolah tutup, guru tiada, gaji tertunggak, murid berkurangan dan macam2 ceritalah. Arwah atuk ada uruskan SAR, jadi saya sendiri saksikan susah payah survival sekolah itu, Maahad al Islah. Jika tidak survive, kenalah surrender pada kerajaan - tukar sistem, tukar kuasa etc etc. But all praises to Allah again, it survived the hardship till now! My primary school at that time was Al-Munir, SAR, and also one of the survivors. Thus this post is dedicated to Al-Munir....I think I wrote about Maahad before.. (this doesn't indicate which one I love the most ok...ahha xD)

Dulu uniform hijau untuk pengawas, putih untuk pelajar lain. Baju melayu dan jubah untuk hari Jumaat. Sekarang hijau untuk pelajar lain, merah jambu untuk pengawas dan ada kat matrik lagi tuh. Makin berwarena-wareni!

I Heart Islam

Wah..tudung adik2 ini labuh2 belaka..
(I can't remember how my headscarf was like..:)

Kepeningan memasukkan input2 penting ke dalam kepala

Mujahid & Mujahidah, God-willing

1. Tahun 1999, sekolah ini 30 minit dari rumah saya dan jauh. Pernah terfikir, apa pasal ibuayah hantar jauh2, SK Sg Manik, Sg Lampam, Kg Bahagia semuanya 5,10,15,20 minit. Ditambah lagi dengan van/bas sekolah yang datang pukul 6.45 pagi...................awalnyeee la T_T. But alhamdulillah, it was worth it.

2. It really made my primary life colourfully awesome! Sekali masuk, terasa tak nak keluar. Al-munir ni satu-satunya sekolah rendah sesi pagi yang belajar subjek2 agama dan akademik di bandar Teluk Intan. Jadi, budak2 al-munir tak pergi sekolah agama petang....bukankah seronok pergi sekolah sehari sekali? ^__________^

3. Tahun 2002, perpindahan rumah menyebabkan sekolah ini 7 minit dari rumah saya. Kalau tak silap, sistem makan dalam talam mula tahun ini. Tiap2 waktu rehat, semua makan dalam talam dalam kumpulan. Siap praktik jilat jari dan duduk macam Rasulullah saw lagi. Dan tiada alasan tak nak makan bersama walau 'tak kawan'. Mahu menanam toleransi insani. Masyallah, rindunya kumpulan talam saya~

4. Sistem solat Zohor berjamaah selepas sekolah juga bermula tahun ini. Sekolah habis pukul 1, pukul 2 lepas solat Zohor di surau sebelah sekolah, baru balik rumah. Adik-adik darjah 1,2 solat di bawah, kakak-kakak senior solat tingkat atas. Lepas solat, ustaz bagi tazkirah seperti sesi story telling..takdela ngantuk kan. Disebabkan sistem ini baru, sesetengah pelajar dengan semangat membara beli buku log kulit keras mahu catit dan catat isi2 tazkirah..tak ingatlah, istiqamah ke tidak.

5. Mudah-mudahan Bajet 2010 ini bukan sekadar di kertas, tapi tindakan juga. Walaupun bajetnya tak boleh lawan PERMATA, impaknya inshallah besar. Tak salahkan mengharap? (:

Gambar2 hari pertama sekolah Januari 2010 dikopi dari: sralmunir.blogspot.com

Class: 1 Al-Kindi (1999)

Class teacher: Cikgu Salawati
How time flies..one time we were running around like happy kids and another time, we walk like grown ups. Barakallahu feekum, guys!